Dreams I Dream
by crisser
Summary: Kurt is finally getting over Blaine when he starts dating Adam. Adam is 22 and British, and just what Kurt needs.
1. Just Sleeping

**A/N: Hi there! Before you say anything, yes, I ship Kadam. And I had so many feels that I needed an outlet for so I wrote all these drabbles on tumblr. Out of some of those came a verse, and I decided to post it here. **

**Since it's originally on tumblr, the chapters won't be super long. Enjoy!**

**Oh, and if you can't wait for me to post the parts I've already written, then you can go to tumblr and track the tag "sleepy!verse".**

* * *

Kurt groans and rolls around on his bed, until his face is buried in the pillow under him. He's cold, and he vaguely wonders where the blankets have gone.

He reaches a hand out blindly to his side, feels the thick covers, grips them and pulls until they're on top of him.

But when he hears a soft whine and feels the covers being pulled away from him, he frowns into his pillow. Then he freezes.

_Right_. Last night… happened.

Kurt slowly lifts his head from the pillow, and what he sees first is a wild mop of blonde hair next to him. He can't help but to smile.

He shifts closer on the bed and pulls the covers over himself a second time. Before Adam can protest with a sleepy mumble, Kurt leans in and presses his lips against Adam's.

Adam pulls away after barely a second, a deep frown set on his face. When his eyes adjust and he sees Kurt, he smiles. "Good morning, sunshine."

Kurt can't help but to giggle. He reaches out and pulls Adam closer until their chests are lined up and _oh_ Adam isn't wearing any shirt. In fact, he isn't wearing anything but a small pair of blue briefs.

They hadn't exactly planned for Adam to stay over, it just sort of happened. Adam had insisted on following Kurt home because of how late it had been when the movie ended, and Kurt just couldn't send him back to Manhattan after that, so he told him he could stay over. When they went to bed, Kurt hadn't really dared to look as Adam got undressed, except for a small glance to see him remove his shirt. And once they were under the covers, they fell asleep pretty quickly.

That was all they had done. Just slept.

Now though, Kurt spreads his legs on either side of Adam's body and pushes his heels into the back of Adam's thighs, making him move closer.

Adam sucks on one of Kurt's collarbones and slides a hand under Kurt's shirt. Kurt arches up into the touch of the rough hand against his skin. He moans and arches his hips up against Adam's, seeking friction for his growing erection. Adam leans down until their bodies are aligned from hips to shoulders, and kisses a trail of open-mouthed, sloppy kisses up Kurt's neck.

Kurt is just about to beg Adam to kiss him senseless when two fingers lightly brush over a sensitive rib, and Kurt giggles and bats the hand away.

"Oh, sorry," Adam says as he pulls away from Kurt's neck. But when Kurt sees the teasing glint in Adam's eyes, it's already too late.

Kurt squeaks as Adam's fingers move over his side, tickling him until he's laughing so hard he can't breathe. He tries to move away, but Adam is still on top of him, making him unable to move.

Suddenly there's a gasp a few feet away, followed by a squeaky, "Oh my _God!_"

Adam pulls back, and that's when Kurt sees Rachel standing there in her pajamas.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know-" She stops, and gives Kurt a pointed stare, one that means that they'll talk about this as soon as they're alone. "I'll be in the living room."

"Kurt, you're blushing," Adam teases when Rachel's gone.

Kurt falls back against the bed with a groan and covers his face with his hands. A second later, he feels his hands being tugged away, and he looks up into Adam's eyes.

"Don't do that," Adam says softly, caressing Kurt's tainted cheek with the back of his hand. "You're beautiful."


	2. In Bed

**A/N: I'm so glad people are liking this. Here's chapter 2!**

* * *

They are still in bed ten minutes later, Kurt dreading to face Rachel and her questions and Adam... well.

He's busy pushing Kurt's shirt up and kissing down his chest. He seems so consumed by it that he doesn't even notice when Kurt gently tugs at his hair.

"Adam?" Kurt says gruffly, patting his hair.

Adam hums in reply, looking up at Kurt and surprising him by licking a wet trail down to the elastic band of his briefs.

Kurt's breath hitches in his chest, and Adam smiles innocently.

Adam is so close, his chin barely gracing the fabric of Kurt's underwear, and Kurt can't stop the image of Adam taking him into his mouth before it hits him, vivid and desperate.

"Fuck," Kurt hisses as Adam trails his nose down the length of his cock. "Ad-Adam, we c-can't. Rachel..."

Adam groans and hides his face against Kurt's hip. "I know."

Kurt sighs before sitting up and running a hand through his hair to tame the bedhead.

"Should I leave?" Adam asks, crawling back up to Kurt's side.

Kurt knows it'd probably be best if Adam left, but at the same time, Rachel has dragged Brody home _countless_ of times without any consideration of Kurt whatsoever.

It isn't out of revenge that Kurt says it, but because - for once - he wants to be the one with a boy in his bed in the morning.

"No," Kurt says. "Wait here a few minutes, and I'll be back with breakfast. Is toast okay?"

"Perfect," Adam says, and brings Kurt into another kiss. It's sloppy and a little too heated to be chaste, and it makes Kurt cheeks heat up again, but for a different reason this time.

"I'll be right back," Kurt promises, pulls on a pair of sweats and leaves a sexually frustrated Adam in his bed.

He doesn't even make it to the kitchen before Rachel is attacking him with questions.

"Kurt!" she squeaks. "It's him, isn't it? The guy who you thought had a crush on you?"

"No, _you_ thought he had a crush on me," Kurt corrects her.

Rachel crosses her arms over her chest and gives him her best smirk. "So he's not currently in your bed, practically naked?"

"Ssh," Kurt hushes her, because drapes are not nearly as sound-proof as walls are. He puts two slices of bread in the toaster and fills two glasses with orange juice.

Rachel eyes him as he works, getting more and more impatient by the second. When she finally snaps, it's with a long row of questions.

"Kurt! Tell me more! Who is he? How did you two meet? Does he really go to NYADA? I've never seen him… What does he major in? What's his name?"

She stops abruptly and looks to the side of Kurt, and Kurt turns to find Adam there in the same clothes he wore yesterday. He's even wearing his blue beanie.

Kurt tries to hide his disappointment over the fact that Adam got dressed, and turns back to Rachel.

"It's Adam," Adam says and shakes hands with Rachel. "You must be Rachel, the fierce and infamous roommate."

Rachel's eyes flicker to Kurt for a moment, before she turns back to Adam with a grin. "Yeah, that's me."

"Well, I thought I'd come and say hi. It's very nice to meet you, Rachel," Adam says politely, and Kurt can practically see how Adam is earning points from Rachel with every passing second.

"So how did you meet?" Rachel asks again.

Kurt's head snaps up and he looks hurriedly between the two. "Um-"

"I convinced him to join my show choir, because he didn't look willing to just stop by without some persuasion first," Adam says and smiles.

Though Rachel's smile fades.

"Show choir?" she asks hollowly, looking Adam up and down as if she's seeing him for the first time. "I see."

"Why don't we take the breakfast to the living room table?" Kurt says and hands Adam one of the trays. Adam takes it, and heads to the living room after kissing Kurt on the cheek.

Kurt is just about to defend himself when Rachel surprises him and takes the juice box from Kurt's hands and a third glass from the cabinet.

Before she follows Adam into the living room, she leans into Kurt and whispers, "I might have to make an exception from my show choir statement. I can see why you did."

She practically skips away, and Kurt is left standing the kitchen, shaking his head with a fond smile on his lips.


	3. Ridding Sleep

**A/N: Here is the next part! Enjoy!**

* * *

Somehow they end up moving from the living room table to the couch, Kurt and Adam cuddling up with their tea cups while Rachel sits down in the armchair, her legs thrown over the armrest.

"So, Adam," Rachel says, and for the first time that morning she sounds guarded. "You care about hygiene, yes?"

When Adam looks confused, she explains. "Because I don't want you and Kurt to have sex all over the apartment."

Kurt, who just took a sip of his chamomile, splutters, shooting small drops of tea from his mouth. He quickly moves a hand up to wipe at his mouth, but not before glaring at Rachel.

"While I understand your concern," Adam tells Rachel while softly patting Kurt's shoulder, "it's not at all necessary. We have yet to have sex, but when we do, it'll be on a non-coed surface."

Kurt turns his glare on Adam, who in turn looks honestly surprised. "What? What did I say?"

Kurt shakes his head and turns back to Rachel. "I understand your concern, too, but it's still _none of your business_. I stick out of your… _sex life_, so you stick out of mine, too."

"Actually," Rachel says, "you don't. You make comments about it constantly, though it's mostly just you complaining. You even do it when Brody's around."

Kurt groans. "I only complain when I've been sleep-deprived because of you two for over a week, which, unfortunately, happens very often!"

Rachel smirks and gets up from the armchair. "Speaking of which, I am meeting Brody in about an hour so I should get ready." She glances at the two of them a final time, blissful smile on her face. "It was really nice to meet you, Adam."

"Likewise," Adam says with a nod.

Kurt and Adam stay on the couch for a while longer, finishing their teas. Kurt is the one who speaks first.

"Do you wanna do something today or should we just hang around the house? I mean, it _is_a Saturday. We should do something, if only tonight."

Adam hums in agreement. "But before we do anything, I need to get a shower. I never feel properly awake until I've had one that rids all remainders of sleep. … And preferably a change of clothing."

"How about this," Kurt says and turns around in Adam's arms. "You go take a shower and I'll get some comfy clothes for you to wear, and then we'll hang around for the day, maybe watch a movie. And then, before it gets dark, we go to your place and get you some proper clothes before we go out. Dinner or drink, we can decide that later." Kurt pauses. "Does that sound okay?"

"That sounds perfect," Adam says. "It's a plan."

While Adam showers, Kurt looks through his apartment for clothes that could be big enough for Adam to wear. He settles on a pair of boxers, a pair of sweatpants, and the second biggest t-shirt he can find; not the biggest one because that one says _Hummel Tires and Lube_ across the chest, and Kurt thinks it's too soon given the conversation they just had with Rachel. Kurt's always thought that that shirt was a grand invitation for sex jokes.

Carrying the clothes to the bathroom, Kurt runs in with Rachel just as she's leaving. For some reason, she eyes him suspiciously.

"What now, Rachel?"

"Nothing," she says, her voice a pitch too high to be honest. "It's just that… are you giving those clothes to Adam?"

"… Yes?"

"While he's still in the shower?" she presses. "...Naked?"

Kurt can't resist rolling his eyes. "Oh my God, Rachel. Listen to yourself! I'm just leaving them on the toilet, I won't even see him. Besides, I'm not some kind of wild animal with no sense of self-restraint."

"You're a hormonal teenager," she says matter-of-factly. "It's practically the same thing."

Kurt heaves a heavy sigh.

"Okay, fine," Rachel says, plants a kiss on Kurt's cheek before she moves to the hallway. Before she walks out of the apartment, she points at him with a grave look. "Just remember what you promised; no sex outside of bedrooms!"

Kurt laughs lightly. "I never promised that."

"Mh_mm_," Rachel says, and moves two fingers from her eyes to Kurt. "My sixth sense will be watching."

Rachel finally leaves, and Kurt shakes his head at her unbelievable friend.

Still, he finds himself stopping in front of the bathroom door, hand raised in a knock. She isn't right, not at all — she is crazy, that's what she is. And she is over-reacting. Kurt is just gonna leave some clothes, go in and out, and it's all going to take ten seconds tops.

Really, what could happen?


	4. Bedroom Bound

**A/N: Let there be smut! they said, and there was.**

* * *

Kurt knocks on the door and waits until he hears a muffled, "Yeah?"

He walks into the bathroom, the clothes in his arms raised to block his view, which he knows is ridiculous because he's seen Adam practically naked before so why should this time be any different?

Damn Rachel.

"I just came to leave some clothes," Kurt says and places the pile on the toilet lid. He straightens up and is about to walk out of the room when Adam peeks out from behind the shower curtain. As he does, he covers his wet and dripping torso with his arm, displaying his very bulging bicep.

Not until Adam raises a hand to wipe away the hair sticking to his forehead and looks at Kurt with dark eyes does Kurt remember the tiny little detail that yes, he's seen Adam shirtless before, but that was also when they were tangled together in Kurt's bed and probably would've had sex if Rachel hadn't been around.

Kurt gulps, trying to think of something to say. But rational thought flies out the door the second that Adam draws a breath and pulls the shower curtain away from him entirely, revealing his lean and muscled body on display.

_Just for me_, Kurt thinks.

"Adam…" Kurt breathes, and feels himself walk towards him as his pants get tighter and tighter.

Adam reaches out and pulls Kurt in for a heated kiss, all tongues and teeth. It doesn't take long for Kurt's head to start spinning, and he breaks away from the kiss to gasp for air.

But Adam doesn't stop. He pulls Kurt closer, who stumbles and yelps as the hot water pours over his clothes.

Adam runs his hands over Kurt's soaked, t-shirt clad chest, letting his thumbs graze Kurt's nipples.

Kurt inhales sharply.

Without a word, Adam gets down on his knees and yanks Kurt's shirt up, leaning in to kiss at the wet and exposed skin on his stomach.

He stands up again and pulls Kurt's shirt over his head, and surges in for another heated kiss. Kurt throws his arms around Adam's neck and brings their bodies closer, the press of skin against skin feeling so much better together with the hot water.

Adam knocks the breath out of Kurt when he thrusts his hips forward harshly, groaning as his and Kurt's erections meet.

Kurt lets out a frustrated mewl, needing his soaked sweatpants to _go away_.

Adam stills his hips for a second, steadying Kurt's hips with his hands when Kurt keeps seeking friction.

"Wait," Adam pants. "We promised… Rachel. Bedroom only."

Kurt groans and drops his head to Adam's shoulder. "How can you be thinking about_Rachel_ right now?"

"Trust me," Adam says, "it's nearly impossible to think of anything but you- _uuh_."

Adam's hands make their way past the elastic of Kurt's sweats as Kurt starts sucking and biting a hickey on his neck, his tongue occasionally licking over the spot. Adam squeezes Kurt's ass cheeks, making Kurt arch his hips forward with a broken moan.

"Please, _fuck me_," Kurt begs, and that's all it takes to make the last of Adam's restrictions crumble, and he tugs Kurt's pants down quickly, exposing his already leaking cock.

Kurt steps out of the pants and kicks them into a corner of the shower, way past the point of caring.

"Condoms and lube?" Adam asks innocently, running a hand trough Kurt's hair.

Kurt closes his eyes and hums. "Bathroom cabinet, top shelf."

Kurt takes a deep breath, hears Adam rummage through the cabinet, and by the time he opens his eyes again, Adam is back.

Adam is slicking up his fingers with lube, putting the bottle and condom on the soap rack. He kisses Kurt's cheek as he reaches around Kurt and rubs a finger over his hole.

Kurt gasps and hooks a leg over Adam's hips. Adam moves them until Kurt's back is against the wall, and the warm water of the shower is running down his back.

He pushes a finger through the tight ring of muscle, and sucks Kurt's bottom lip into his mouth as he works his finger up and down. Kurt thrusts back on his finger, and soon Adam adds another one, moving them deeply in and out, scissoring and aiming for that one-

"Holy Jesus _fuck_!" Kurt shouts as Adam hits his prostate.

"Kurt," Adam laughs. "I thought you weren't religious."

"Shut up and give me more."

Adam obliges, adding a third finger. He takes his time with opening Kurt up, making sure that he's ready so that it won't hurt too much.

Apparently, Kurt thinks he's taking too long. "_Adam_."

Adam takes the hint and removes his fingers, kissing Kurt's pout away. "Which way do you want to do this?"

Kurt watches as Adam rips the condom wrapping open and rolls it onto his thick and hard cock.

"Like this, face to face," Kurt says, eyes transfixed by Adam's hand moving up and down his own erection. "If you think you can do it."

"I didn't spend all those hours at the gym for nothing," Adam teases, and with a swift movement he pulls Kurt's other leg around his waist, holding Kurt up against the wall.

He aligns his cock against Kurt's hole and groans as Kurt sinks down on him.

They're still for a moment, trying to regain their normal breathing and to adjust to the feeling of filling each other up.

Kurt hugs Adam tightly. "You can move now."

So Adam does. He pulls his hips back slowly and sinks back in, making both of them moan from the sensation.

"Harder," Kurt pants.

"Bossy," Adam quips, and slams his hips up hard. He finds a rhythm and picks up speed, making a string of non-coherent words fall out of Kurt's mouth.

Kurt grips Adam's shoulders tightly, digging his nails into the skin as Adam hits his prostate over and over again, just at the right angle.

Adam moves a hand down and starts jerking Kurt off. Kurt automatically responds by arching off the wall and into Adam's touch, eyes rolling into the back of his head.

Kurt throws his head back and lets out a long moan as he comes, thrusting into Adam's hand as he rides out his orgasm, come splashing on both their stomachs. He threads a hand trough Adam's hair and scratches his scalp, and with two more thrusts, Adam's coming too, thrusting deeply inside Kurt as his come fills the condom.

Before either of them have a chance to get oversensitive, Adam slips out of Kurt and helps him get his feet back on the ground. He pulls the condom off and throws it into the trashcan by the sink.

The hot water has almost run out completely by now, but they stay for a minute more to wash away their come under the lukewarm spray.

Once they get out of the shower, Kurt hands one towel to Adam, kisses him softly and wraps another one around himself. He goes into his bedroom and practically collapses on his bed, boneless and sated.

His peace lasts for about two seconds, when his phone vibrates twice on his nightstand.

Kurt check his phone to see who just texted him. He groans as he reads the message, but still smiles into his pillow.

**_From Rachel  
_**_Oh, who am I kidding. You're probably having sex around the house right now. Love you, anyway. See you tomorrow!_


	5. Napping Time

**I wanna say a big thanks to everyone following this story and reviewing it! It makes me really happy :)**

* * *

Adam joins him in the bedroom a minute later, walking into the room wearing only a pair of sweatpants slung low on his hips and a trail of sand-colored hairs disappearing below the waistband. There are still droplets of water sliding down his chest and if Kurt wasn't so happily sated he'd do him all over again right now.

Adam lies down next to him on the bed, wetting the pillow case with his damp hair. But Kurt can't bring himself to care.

Just as Adam puts his arms around Kurt's waist, Kurt's phone goes off right next to them. Kurt groans and hides his face in the crook of Adam's neck.

Adam must've picked the phone up because the vibrations aren't as loud anymore. But then he draws a sharp breath. "Who is Blaine?"

Kurt's head snaps up and he grabs the phone out of Adam's hand, looking down at the screen. Kurt isn't sure what he expected, but all he sees is Blaine's name on the screen.

"Aren't you going to answer?" Adam asks curiously.

Kurt sits up and covers himself with one of the blankets, suddenly feeling very exposed. He slides to unlock the screen. "Hello?"

There is only the sound of movement on the other end, before there is a quiet, "Hi."

After another pause, Kurt swallows the lump forming in his throat. "Why are you calling me, Blaine?"

"I just… wanted to talk to you." He shuffles on the other end. "I'm at your house."

"You're at my-" Kurt stops. He suddenly knows just why Blaine is calling. Blaine is at his house, probably with his dad, his dad who knows he has a crush on someone else and recently had a successful date with said crush.

Sighing, Kurt runs a hand over his face. His dad has always liked Blaine, and it could've easily slipped out that Kurt has been on a date with someone who clearly isn't Blaine.

"Blaine," Kurt says, trying to sound determined. "You have to stop calling me, for both of our sakes. What good is this doing to either of us?"

"I just had to know," Blaine says desperately, "if this was it. For us."

"Blaine, you'll always be special to me," Kurt says. "But you know I can't do this. I… I don't_want_ to do this. Not anymore."

"Okay," Blaine says quietly, voice quivering. "I just needed to know."

"Now you do."

"Just… Kurt?"

"Yeah?" Kurt asks, feeling a hand stroke over his back. He turns to find Adam watching him with a concerned expression on his face.

"Is he good to you? That guy?"

Kurt smiles and meets Adam's worried expression fondly. "Yeah, he really is."

Blaine hangs up after that, and Kurt puts his phone away on his nightstand. Before he can explain anything to Adam, Adam beats him to it.

"Ex-boyfriend?" he asks knowingly.

Kurt nods and pulls Adam back down on the bed with him. "The one and only. Literally." Kurt puts his hands under his head. "I'm sorry, I should've told you about it before we got involved."

"Why?" Adam asks in honest curiosity. "I've had boyfriends too. I don't share any of that on the first date, so why should you?"

"I just…" Kurt pauses, trying to find the right words. "It was pretty intense. Sometimes I think that if we'd been the same age and come here to New York together, we'd still be together. But most of the time I know that we would've broken up sooner or later. I didn't see the signs until after we were through. But my point is that it was only a few months ago, and he still calls me, he's still not over it."

"And neither are you," Adam states. Before Kurt can object, he adds, "It's part of life that you never fully get over your first love. I don't think it should be any other way. Because when you have your first relationship you learn so much about what you want from love. That wouldn't be possible on your own."

"I guess that makes sense," Kurt says. "But the difference is that I'm ready to move on."

"I should hope so," Adam says bashfully, kissing Kurt's collarbone. But then his face becomes serious. "You just have to promise that you'll tell me if you think it's too soon or you realize this isn't what you want. I know I'm ready, and I want you to be, too."

"I will," Kurt promises.

They kiss for a while, lips moving lazily with their tongues and limbs tangling together in a heap among the rumpled sheets. Kurt slips his hands down the back of Adam's sweatpants, the sweatpants that are really _his_ sweatpants, and _shit_ if that doesn't turn him on then Adam's firm ass filling up his palms certainly does.

He tugs Adam's sweatpants down and gasps softly when their cocks rub together. Adam holds him close as they rut together for a quick release.

"What would I do without you?" Kurt asks, panting.

"Probably be very horny and miserable," Adam says simply.

Kurt chuckles. "Yeah, probably."


	6. Date Night

**A/N: And here be angst!**

* * *

They know that they have to get out of bed eventually, but they stay below the covers as long as they possibly can without feeling like the whole day has been a waste.

"Adam," Kurt says in between kisses. "We had- plans- remember?"

Adam hums against his lips. "So you'd rather go out and do things than be alone with me? Should I be offended?"

"No," Kurt murmurs, nussling his nose against Adam's cheek. "You should be honored. It means that I want you for more than just sex."

Adam's face grows serious, and he moves his hands up to cup Kurt's face as best as he can in the weird angle. "You make me feel like a twat," he says quietly. "But of course I want more from you, too."

Kurt bites his lip to keep from grinning. "Good. I'm glad."

"So we really should get out of bed, huh?"

"Yes, and get some clothes. We probably want to be clothed in public."

Adam lifts the blankets covering them, peeking down at their naked, entwined bodies. He drops the covers and presses a hard kiss to Kurt's lips. "Good point."

—

They stop by Adam's apartment on their way out. Kurt's only been there a few times before, but that was during lunches and free periods when they've either been in a hurry or busy studying. They're not in a hurry now, especially when Adam goes into his bedroom to change and leaves Kurt alone with the invitation of "make yourself at home".

Kurt stands in the living room, looking around. The place is not too stylish, looking very much like someone who's newly moved in with the few furniture and many carton boxes in the corner of the room.

Curious, Kurt approaches them to see what's inside. There are two on top of each other, and the one on top is slightly open. Kurt bites his lip, looking over his shoulder to see if Adam is coming back. Kurt doesn't know if Adam would mind him snooping, but he doesn't think this was what Adam had meant when he said "make yourself at home".

Kurt groans quietly and pulls the carton folds apart. He looks down into the box, frowning. He doesn't know what he'd expected, really. Maybe something that would give Kurt a big revelation about Adam. But apparently these big, dark boxes aren't a metaphor for Adam's secrets.

The box he opened is filled with books.

Kurt looks around the room and notices that Adam doesn't have a bookshelf. He doesn't know why that makes him feel uneasy in his stomach. Maybe it is the fact that Adam has lived in that apartment for over three years and still only has a couch and a coffee table in his living room. Or maybe it's something else.

He doesn't think the boxes are harmful anymore, so he looks through Adam's collection of books. He finds that Adam doesn't have any classics at all, at least not in this box. You'd think that an Englishman would own books like Austen or Shakespeare, but Adam doesn't seem to.

Kurt lets his finger move over the back of the books, seeing titles like Eragon, Cloud Atlas, The Guardians, and Never Let Me Go. He doesn't know what to make of it.

His finger stops as it meets an unlabeled spine. He takes it up from the box and realizes that it's an old photo album. He opens the first page, and there is only one picture there. It's of a young boy and a baby. The text under the picture says _Welcome Adam Christian Crawford _and a date.

Kurt flips the page and sees more baby pictures. He flips another page, and another, before he sees a picture from somewhere that looks like a country house. The text next to it says _Benjamin and Adam playing together in the garden_.

Kurt keeps flipping pages, sees how Adam gets older and older, sees holidays and trips and candids from everyday life. He stops when he sees a picture of three guys. One of them is clearly Adam, who must be old enough to be in high school. They're grinning hugely all three, all looking so happy. Kurt reads the blurb. _Before Ben's graduation. Like father like sons._

Kurt's head snaps up when he hears a sound coming from the bedroom. He turns his head but can't see Adam; he's still in the bedroom.

Kurt looks at the picture again, frowning. He didn't know Adam had a brother. In fact, one time Kurt had explained that Finn was only his step-brother, and - not counting him - he doesn't have any siblings. Kurt knows the memory well; it was just from two weeks ago. He knows that Adam had said "me neither". Though, thinking back on it, Kurt can't remember how he'd said it.

But why would he have lied about it?

Kurt opens the album from the back and flips through the many blank pages until he reaches the last used one.

He regrets it immediately, eyes taking in the wobbly page and the cut newspaper article with a dried flower next to it. Kurt feels his eyes sting as he reads it.

_In Memoriam. Benjamin David Crawford. 1988 - 2006. A son, a lover, a brother, a friend. We turn our heads up to the sky to look for the angel that we once knew._

Kurt wipes at his eyes and closes the photo album quickly, putting it back in the box. He closes the box again and sits down on the couch. He doesn't think he could stand up without support.

Why hasn't Adam told him? The opportunity has been there many times for Adam to tell him. Kurt has told him about losing his mom, and even about his dad's cancer. Maybe Adam doesn't trust him? Or maybe he isn't as open about things as Kurt is.

Kurt shakes his head. He never thought he would ever be the one who opened up easily in a relationship. But Adam makes him feel safe, so he had never questioned it.

Then Kurt remembers what Adam had said only a few hours before.

_"I don't share any of that on the first date, so why should you?"_

He'd been talking about boyfriends, but Kurt suddenly thinks that Adam's words mean more than that.

"Gosh, Kurt, who died?"

Kurt looks up and stares right at Adam's face, how he's happy and grinning as always, his light joke so very misplaced at the moment.

His face falls, and he hurries to sit on the couch next to Kurt.

"Kurt, did something happen?"

What was he supposed to do? Should he confess that he was snooping and tell Adam that he knows? Or does he wait until Adam comes to him? Kurt swallows. There must be a reason to why Adam hasn't talked about it, right? Maybe he's not ready to talk. Maybe he'll get mad and tell Kurt he needs time.

"No, everything's just fine," Kurt lies.

"You sure? I mean, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But are you sure you still want to go out?"

"Yes, of course I do," Kurt says, taking Adam's hand. "I was just… thinking about some things in the past."

"Oh," Adam says, sounding a little surprised. He caresses Kurt's cheek, wearing a lopsided smile. "Well, that's never good. Are you ready to go?"

Kurt nods and they go back into the hallway. Kurt throws one last look at the living room as Adam puts his shoes on, and he winces internally as he remembers the first time he was there.

_"Jesus, Adam, what's up with the decoration? Or should I say, the lack thereof? Your house should reflect yourself and all that stuff, but honestly, even if your soul is as bare as these walls you should cover it up with a little nice decor."_

It had been a joke, and Adam had laughed, but Kurt feels bad about it now. But he hadn't known, how could he? He isn't even sure he knows everything right now, but he knows a part of it. And he thinks it's a very big part.

—

Kurt has to tell Adam he knows.

He realizes it pretty quickly that he can't stop thinking about it. Adam chatters on happily, smiling and laughing like nothing has changed between them when Kurt knows it has. At least it has for Kurt. And it will for Adam too once Kurt tells him he knows.

They'll go from casually dating and staying over at each other's places to knowing things about each other, things they only tell people they're close to, thing in their pasts. It's a whole new level of intimacy and trust that Kurt has already thrown himself headfirst at. He just hopes Adam will do the same.

He'll tell him when they've been seated, Kurt decides as the restaurant comes into sight.

The host brings them to the outdoor serving in the back. It's very romantic and cozy with the thin white fabric hanging as a ceiling and the light strands climbing up and down the pillars and plants.

"Kurt? Oh my God, what are you doing here?!"

Kurt turns around at the voice, but he knows it's Rachel even before he sees her. He's a little surprised to see that she's with Quinn and Santana, but then again, Brody would never take her to a place like this.

"We could go to some other place if you want," Adam whispers in his ear as Rachel keeps waving for them to come over.

"That's okay," Kurt says, then hesitates. "Unless _you_ want to go somewhere else, of course."

"I don't mind your friends," Adam says easily.

Kurt doesn't either, but right now he'd rather be alone with Adam so that they could talk.

Kurt takes his hand and squeezes it before pulling him over to Rachel's table to introduce him to Santana and Quinn.

They sit through the dinner, and it's actually very lovely. Rachel can be too much sometimes, but tonight she's nothing but kind and funny, and only a few times does she border on obnoxious, but then she has Santana sitting next to her to shut her up.

Kurt manages to forget the cloud lingering between him and Adam and have a good time. Adam seems to have a good time too, telling them stories and laughing at their jokes. He laughs in horror together with Kurt and Rachel when Santana gets drunk and starts talking about boobs and vaginas. The only one who isn't hysterically laughing and cringing is Quinn, who only smiles and sips her drink. But Kurt doesn't think twice about it.

It's only when Adam listens attentively to the story Rachel is telling them, his face neutral and attentive, that Kurt remembers what he'd discovered earlier that night.

He looks at Adam's face and sees the open vulnerability there, the one he so easily hides by slipping on a smile or quipping a flirty compliment.

Kurt realizes that everyone hides in one way or another, from something dark or bad or sad thing in the life, from the monsters in our closets when they're kids and don't really know yet what to fear. But the only truth is that everyone fears pain, and Kurt wonders how much of that is true for Adam.

He slides his hand across the sofa they're sitting on and grabs Adam's hand tightly where it rests in his lap. It makes Adam forget about Rachel and look at him instead.

His face becomes concerned when he looks at Kurt, and Kurt wonders what his face must look like. Or maybe it's his hand almost turning white by how strongly he's holding on to Adam that makes Adam look worried.

Adam brings their linked hands up to his mouth and presses a kiss to the back of Kurt's hard. He squeezes a little, and Kurt softens his dead-lock grip.

But they don't let go. Not for the whole evening. They sit together on the sofa and drink and talk and laugh with the girls for what seems like hours more. The simple press of palms and fingers stays there, barely noticeable and not a big deal, just something that's always in the back of their heads, anchoring them and connecting them to each other.

They still hold hands when they walk the few blocks to Adam's apartment; they decided on staying at Adam's place that night since it was closer and more private than Kurt's.

They walk in silence until Adam squeezes Kurt's hand in his and clears his throat.

"Are you sure you're okay? You've been acting a little weird since we left my apartment."

Kurt takes a breath. It's now or never. "Something happened, sort of."

"Oh," Adam only says.

Kurt pulls them to a stop on the sidewalk, and Adam looks at him questioningly.

"I think we should go back to your place and talk a little."


End file.
